Posts Tagged ‘t-shirts’

HOW TO WIN BIG WHILE BECOMING MY OWN WORST CRITIC AND VERY BEST NEW FRIEND!

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Greetings sports fans and pork rinds (or pork scratchings for our friends across the pond and under the table)! Another month is upon us (like a soggy ol’ Navajo blanket) and yet you still keep comin’ ’round lookin’ for handouts… and I’m a natural born sucker for beggars, thieves and gypsies! Times are tough, but I don’t believe in tough love. I’m willing to share the wealth, so long as you meet me halfway (and let me borrow $50 for a Hansom Cab ride home). That’s why despite the current state of this broken-down, slipshod economy, we here at S.britt Amalgamated Doodles and Gewgaws Inc. believe that YOU, the armchair internet clicker, deserves a break today (or whenever the check clears)! We heard your cries regarding the current lack of free desktop calendars and activity pages to print out and color and by gum we did something about it! But just as it was in Biblical times, every good boy deserves a favour and no good stone goes unpunished (so long as it’s unturned, passed and served with asparagus). So seein’ how I did you a little favor, I thought you’d be more than willing to put your money where your mouth is and your review where my book is. Announcing the (drumstick please) Over in the Hollow Customer Review Contest!

Last month, my very first illustrated children’s book Over in the Hollow was published by Chronicle Books. Unfortunately as of yet, there haven’t been any customer reviews on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Borders (perhaps because they’ve credited me as Stephanie Britt) to speak of. This is where YOU come in, faithful readers and writers! If you own a copy of the book (and I sincerely thank you for that) or have seen it and would like to tell the world what you think (good, bad or ugly), this is the virtual soapbox you’ve always been waiting for! See your name in print (or online)! Impress your friends! Brush people aside as though they were matchsticks!

Starting today, feel free to submit a review of Over in the Hollow to your favorite online bookstore, book-related blog or literary magazine and then send me the link or clipping (and whatever clever username you used for the review) to be added to the competition. The Customer Review Contest ends at midnight, October 15th and the very best review (in my ghastly-ghoulish opinion) will be selected and the winning critic will be notified (by vampire bat) no later than October 18th. The reviews will be judged on creativity, humor and the ability to convince others that their lives (and libraries) are meaningless without THIS book! A Grand Prize will be awarded and the winning critic shall receive his/her/it’s reward just in time for Halloween. I can’t tell you what it is just yet, but here’s hoping you have room in your heart (and basement) for a beast with five hands. Better stock up on the kreature kibble, it’ll be famished when it arrives.

In other me, me, me-related news; I’m currently working on a few top secret projects that I can’t quite talk about at the moment, because even I don’t know what they are! But rest assured that I have been both briefed and pantsed on the protocol and from everything I’ve heard, I should be sentenced by the end of the week (fingers and eyes crossed). In addition to the aforementioned Customer Review Contest, I’m planning on adding some high-quality prints (of low-quality art) to my shop and I am curious to hear if any of you have a special request. Is there a particular doodle (or two-odle) of mine that you’d actually pay to hang in your wigwam or sweat lodge? What about your teepee or igloo? Regardless of where you live, any space can be improved with the proper wall hangings; why not mine? And if it’s not art you’re after, what about t-shirts? Most states have laws on the books that require you to wear a colorful and proper fitting t-shirt at all times (and yet you STILL can’t marry a horse!). Over the years I’ve printed plenty of different shirts in all shapes and sizes (mostly t-shirt shaped) and if there’s a shirt that you’d like to see reprinted, speak now or forever wear Ed Hardy! Perhaps you’ve lost or gained weight or possibly even a loved one (who took their beloved S.britt apparel with them to the grave). Don’t you think they’d want you to look and feel the very best that you can? I can’t promise any miracles (at least not since the lawsuit), but I can 100% guarantee that wearing an authentic S.britt t-shirt WILL improve your life dramatically AND fatten my wallet. Buy my product!

S.britt’s Jukebox: Family Fearless,The Raconteurs “Broken Boy Soldiers,” Brendan BensonMy Old, Familiar Friend,Kevin Coyne “Marjory Razorblade,CAN “Ege Bamyasi.” You can tell a lot about a person by the music he listens to. I’m sure by now you’ve come to the inevitable conclusion that I’m an idiot.

Recommended Viewing: Hedgehog in the Fog. My good ‘n’ talented pal Laura Park sent me this thinkin’ it might be something I would like. Boy was SHE ever right (and how)! Pass the borscht and vareniki Pa, we’re havin’ pickled hedgehog tonight!